I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
