OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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