Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
