I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
