new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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