he puts the penis in happiness.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
