My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
