I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
