Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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