Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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