So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
