also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
