therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
