Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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