Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
