some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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