we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
