Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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