My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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