shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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