Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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