she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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