I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I cockslap morals
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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