Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
