The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize