It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
