can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
