remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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