Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
