I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
