are you still at the devil's house?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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