Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
