Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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