I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
