you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
