Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
A+ Viking dick
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