God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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