Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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