I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
