omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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