The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
