thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
