Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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