I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
