Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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