How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
