I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
