Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
