My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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