were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
