You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am naked and annoyed.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize