wat bout pragnant strippers??
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
