dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
