Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My bed smells like the plague
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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