Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
