If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She bit a glass in half.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
