I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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