If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
