I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
