Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
