How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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