Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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