nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize