How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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