I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
