I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
