I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
sarcasm needs its own font
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
