Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
