He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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