just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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