Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
