My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
