I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
