U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
