Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
