OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
