yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
