I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
